Broken Wings
by My Reason Why
Summary: After tragedy strikes his life Freddie moves to Hollywood - it's Freddie Benson, but not as you know him. How can he possibly move on when he's forgotten how to fly? *Written after a prompt from a user named Challenge King*.
1. Bad Dream

Freddie took a deep breath and made his way into Hollywood Arts high school. He could not express how much he did not want to be here, he couldn't express how much he didn't want any of the events in the past few months to have happened, but he had no choice. There was no taking back what happened, none of this could be undone, so now he had to live with it. His mother was dead and now he was being forced to move in with his father, who had been absent since Freddie was five, and his younger fiancée. Both of whom act like nothing is wrong and that Freddie's here because he chose to be, instead of some horrible tragedy.

The girls had been understanding with him when he left, or at least they'd tried to be. He knew that they were bummed that he wouldn't be around to film iCarly anymore but they'd both let him go without complaint after he went off at them for being insensitive to his mother's death. Who could really blame him? He didn't want to think about some stupid web show when his mother was dead. He didn't want to think about anything, so he would never guess why his father decided to send him to Hollywood Arts. He didn't want to have to sing, act and dance. He just wanted to sleep all day everyday until he forgot why he slept, until the form of sleep didn't seem like such a compromise to being dead anymore. See Freddie wasn't suicidal but that didn't mean he necessarily enjoyed living anymore. All he could think about was his mother. Yes she'd been over protective and annoying, but she'd been his mother. Until recently she'd been all he had. Freddie used to wish that he could see his father once more, maybe even live with him, but he'd never wanted it like this. Freddie would never see his father again if it meant his mother would come back. But she never would, so for now Freddie was stuck. He just had to do what he could to make it through the day.

* * *

Freddie was late for his third period class. He had actually skipped his first two classes and spent the day in the janitor's closet. He knew it probably wasn't the best way to start his first day of school, but Freddie couldn't help it. He didn't want to be around anyone right now. He didn't want to be around anyone ever. Freddie's mother had died three weeks ago and Freddie's Dad had decided to get him enrolled into Hollywood Arts upon the day of his arrival in Hollywood. He'd started school a week later, his father seeing no reason to wait, and already Freddie wished he could leave. Everyone was so talented here, so full of life, that it made Freddie cringe.

He walked into Mr Sikowitz's class and no one even turned to look at him as he entered the room. The class was thoroughly engaged in a conversation about.. coconuts? What the hell were they talking about coconuts for?

Freddie shook his head slightly and cleared his throat. Everyone looked at him in annoyance. "I'm Freddie Benson, I just transferred here." He said making his voice sound lazily confident, though to him his voice sounded strangely hollow.

"Good for you." A girl with raven black hair and blue streaks said sarcastically, staring at him with chilling blue eyes.

Freddie raised his chin and met her hostile glare with one of his own. "You know it." He said slyly and waggled his eyebrows. The African American boy sitting next to the raven haired girl choked back a laugh.

"Sure it is." She replied her voice saturated in sarcasm and she rolled her cool blue eyes.

"Well, Mr Benson welcome to my class." Sikowitz said drawing Freddie's attention back to him. He was a balding man dressed in something a homeless person would wear and he was holding a coconut in one hand. "Now for your first assignment, you must preform the bird scene."

"The bird scene?" Freddie asked and raised his eyebrows. What kind of a stupid name was that?

"Yes. It's a scene each of my students must preform before they are able to act in any plays or other various productions."

Freddie snorted. "Pass."

"Pass?" Sikowitz asked in a confused voice. His brow was furrowed and Freddie was sure he wasn't used to people being rude to him. Well, not students anyway.

"Yeah, pass." Freddie replied lazily, "I'd rather gouge my eyes out with toothpicks than do a stupid bird scene, and as for your plays? You can stick them up your big fat a-"

"Mr Benson!" Sikowitz cut him off, "I'm going to give you one last chance to change your mind."

"No thanks." He replied coolly even though the old Freddie was urging him to just do the damn scene. But he didn't listen to that part of him, he couldn't; not now. Sikowitz said nothing, he did nothing. The raven haired girl was quiet but her eyes followed him as he took his seat.

* * *

"Hey!" A female voice called to Freddie when he was leaving the class. Sikowitz had asked him to stay behind, and had asked him why he was at this school in the first place if he wasn't going to participate, but he'd eventually had to let Freddie go when Freddie refused to answer any of his questions properly.

"Hey." He said and turned to see the raven haired girl coming up to him.

"I'm Jade." She said and raised one of her pierced eyebrows, "It was entertaining watching you stand up to Sikowitz like that, stupid and uncalled for, but entertaining."

"Oh?" Freddie asked, feigning a mild interest. Jade was a dangerous looking girl, sure, but she was absolutely gorgeous and at any other time in his life Freddie might have been nervous. After all; she definitely wasn't the type of girl Freddie usually talked to, and definitely not the type who would actually choose to come and talk to him. At any other time in his life he may have been concerned about saying the wrong thing or letting his nerves get the better of him. But right then he felt nothing. Nothing but a cool apprehension as he realised what Jade wanted from him.

"Yeah." Jade said and put one hand on her hip. In doing so she pushed back her leather jacket to fully reveal the low cut, body hugging top she was wearing underneath.

And it was just like that.

One minute they were in the hallway staring at each other and the next minute they were in a stall in the girl's bathroom making out. It was one freaking hot make out session too. Definitely not something Freddie had done before. He'd never kissed anyone but Sam before, and she'd never done anything like this. Jade was an animal, Freddie had never been around someone so completely wild in his life.

He'd been hoping her ferocity and passion would make him feel alive, and kissing her was nice, but it didn't give him chills. It didn't make him feel anything other than a strong longing to feel something, to forget about his mother's death. But even as he kissed her, felt her and held her in his arms he still couldn't forget about the pain. It was like it was under every motion he made, spiralling down to his very core and carving him up until there was nothing left.

A make out session was all that had happened between them though and for that some part of Freddie was glad. He wasn't sure how he'd feel if he woke up from this nightmare one day and realised he'd lost his virginity to a complete stranger in the girl's bathroom of his new school. Once they'd finished Freddie stood by the stall he and Jade had been in while Jade fixed her make up.

"You know this was a one time thing right?" Jade asked fixing her hair.

Freddie nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Jade smiled. "Good, because I only did this for some fun." She reapplied her lipstick, "I broke up with my boyfriend about a month ago and I just needed something to take my mind off of it." She turned. "Thanks."

"Sure." Freddie nodded. His voice sounded dead, he felt dead. It was official; if he wanted thrills he would have to look elsewhere.

* * *

"How did it go?" Freddie's cousin asked when he came to pick him up from school that day.

Freddie looked out the window. "Fine."

"Did you do what I told you?" He asked pushing his blonde hair out of his blue eyes. Before school started his cousin had thought it would be appropriate to give him dating advice. Freddie had felt it had been a little insensitive since his mother had just died, but it helped Freddie take his mind off of the whole thing so he didn't object.

"Yeah, I did actually."

"And?" Jesse prompted eyeing Freddie curiously. This was the quietest Freddie had ever been with Jesse. Usually Freddie would talk and laugh with his cousin and tell geeky jokes that would make Jesse cringe, but not today. Today he wasn't sure who he was or what he wanted to say.

"And what?" Freddie asked harshly, "You want a freaking play by play?"

"Whoa, chill dude. I was only asking." He replied shaking his head and looking out of the windscreen. Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Yeah whatever." He said and looked out the window. Freddie didn't really see any of his surroundings as they passed him by, his mind was spinning. All he could think about was how things were changing for him, how his life was so different from the life he knew back in Seattle. He found himself wondering whether he liked the way things were going and where his new life in Hollywood would take him.

* * *

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This was written after a prompt from a user named 'Challenge King'. I've never written an iCarly fanfic before, or a crossover, so I hope I didn't do too bad. :D_


	2. Postcard

It turns out Jade wasn't that bad. Even though she still didn't want anything to do with Freddie romantically she'd introduced him to all of her friends, thus ending his loner streak. There was Beck Oliver; the brown haired, brown eyed pretty boy - who also happened to be Jade's ex-boyfriend, Tori Vega; the brown haired, brown eyed, nice girl who was Beck's new girlfriend, Andre Harris; the African American boy from class the other day, Robbie Shapiro; a tall nerdy boy and his puppet Rex, and Cat Valentine; an adorable ditzy girl with bright red velvet coloured hair. Tori also had a sister named Trina who seemed a little creepy to Freddie actually, and he'd actually made a mental note to avoid her in the future.

Tori walked Freddie to their vocal coaching class and Freddie sat in the back of the classroom as usual, trying to block out the world and the life the singers breathed into each note. He didn't want to hear the words in their songs, to be reminded that there were other things in life, that problems other than his own were out there. He sighed and leaned back against the wall. Class was almost over when a boy came over to him. "I'm Marcus." He said with a smile. Marcus had shoulder length blonde messy hair, brown eyes and tanned skin. His apparel was messy and careless and everything about him screamed degenerate stoner to Freddie. Marcus would be the kind of boy Freddie would never associate himself with, but then he wasn't quite what he used to be anymore.

"I'm Freddie." He said carelessly.

"So Freddie, you want to get out of here?" He asked and then the bell rang.

"Where would you have in mind?"

"No where special. I have a joint if you want it, we can smoke it behind the bleachers."

"What makes you think I smoke pot?" Freddie asked, slightly amused.

"So does that mean no?" Marcus asked and Freddie was just about to respond when Tori came over and grabbed Freddie's arm.

"Let's go Freddie." She said and he let her lead him out of the classroom.

* * *

"What the hell?" He asked when they were out of the classroom and he ripped his arm out of hers.

"I don't want you hanging around him, he's trouble Freddie."

"Since when do you get to decide who I hang out with? We're not even friends."

Tori looked hurt and Freddie laughed.

"We only just met okay? Don't act like you know me or have any claim in my life." With that Freddie turned on his heel and walked away. There was a weird feeling in his stomach. It felt _fun_ to be mean to Tori, it felt fun to know he could get away with treating people like that. Deep down he knew it wasn't right, knew he shouldn't talk to people like that, but the rest of him didn't care. Even if it did, it would be too late to go and apologize to Tori now anyway. So he just walked away. He kept walking and walking until he was heading out of Hollywood Arts and into the town he already hated so much.

He didn't want to be here. He wanted to be back in Seattle with his mother. Sure, she hadn't been perfect and he'd complained about her a lot, but he loved her. She was his family. The one who changed his diapers when he was a kid, the one who had nursed him back to health when he'd been sick, fought away the monsters from his nightmares and made sure he had the best chance in life that she could give him; even if he hadn't always appreciated it. Freddie's hands were shaking. He felt like he was going to cry. He could feel his throat closing up and his eyes fulling with tears that were just waiting to seep out from his eyelids.

At that moment a sweep of red appeared in his vision and Cat stepped out in front of him.

"Hay." She said in that dream-like voice of hers. Freddie blinked his eyes free quickly and put his mask back on.

"Hi Cat." He said with a small smile.

"Where you going?" She asked falling into step behind him.

"Anywhere but here." He said dully, the smile disappearing from his face.

"Can I come?" She asked in her child-like way. She was so innocent and happy, Freddie envied her.

"Do whatever you want." He said, hating to say no. As good as it felt to be mean to Tori earlier, something told Freddie she could take it. He didn't think insulting Cat would feel half as good, in fact he'd probably feel pretty damn lousy.

"Kay Kay." She said with a ditzy smile and jumped a little between her steps.

They walked in silence for a little while before Cat gasped and turned to Freddie. "I have a great idea!" She said her voice high pitched and girly. Freddie hadn't heard a voice like hers before, it was wonderful.

"What?" He said and couldn't help but laugh a little bit. Did she even know she was bobbing up and down like a frickin kangaroo?

"I should show you the town. You haven't already been shown around have you?" She asked the last part seriously with worry colouring her features.

"No no ones showed me around yet. Where should we go first?" Freddie asked.

She smiled wide and grabbed his arm. "I know the perfect place!" She said and they took off as fast as she could drag him. The truth was Freddie's cousin had already given him a tour of the town and there wasn't much of it he hadn't seen already, but for some reason he couldn't say no to Cat. He hated the thought of disappointing her, so he just let her pull him along and show him the sights trying to show interest at the appropriate points.

* * *

It was late by the time Freddie got home, but his father was still up waiting. "It's late, where have you been?" He asked as soon as Freddie walked in the door.

Freddie sighed. "Hello to you too Dad." He rolled his eyes and his father sat up in chair and closed his newspaper.

"Don't start with me Freddie, you were out late and you didn't call. It's my parental right to be angry."

"Parental right?" Freddie asked feeling rage bubble up in his chest. "Since when have you been a parent to me?" He asked letting his anger flow through him and out towards his father.

His father was quiet.

"Huh?" Freddie asked taking a step forward. "Was it when you yelled at us all the time? Was it when you just stopped seeming to care about Mom and I? Or was it when you left us?" Freddie was yelling now, but he couldn't help it. His whole body was shaking in rage. "Was it when you married that blonde bimbo who is young enough to be your daughter? I don't fucking think so! Don't bother trying to play the father card with me okay? Because the truth is you have never been my father, you were only a postcard in the mail that never came." With that Freddie turned on his heel and walked away, leaving his father staring after him.

* * *

_A/N: Sorry it's been so long since I've last updated. Due to issues with weather and some severe flooding in the area I live in, my power has been out for a few days preventing me to update and the rest of my time has been spent cleaning up and repairing damage. Everything is good now so hopefully I should be able to post more soon. Thank you for your patience :D_


	3. Pancakes

"Hey!" Cat's singsong voice sounded and Freddie rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. His father was already at work and the step-child was out at her early morning yoga class so Freddie had had no choice but to get the door and let Cat in.

She was smiling brightly and Freddie had no idea how she could be so happy, let alone at... He looked at the clock, six o'clock in the morning? Freddie sighed and sat down in an arm chair. He slouched heavily and Cat came and sat down opposite him after she shut the door.

"Hi Cat." He said and yawned.

"Did I wake you?" She asked. Her eyes were so bright and awake that it made Freddie feel even more tired.

"No." He lied even though he wasn't sure why. Why was he so worried about what Cat thought? Why was he being so careful not to hurt her? More importantly: why did he care? He didn't feel anymore, he didn't care about anything. Anything other than this spirited redhead, that is. The thought of caring scared Freddie. It made him think of his old life, the one where his mother was alive and he'd been relatively happy. He hated the fact that he couldn't be back there with her now, he really did. He could feel himself begin to lose it and Cat's response was the only thing that brought him back to the present, her bubbly oblivious voice piercing through his sorrow.

She was smiling when Freddie looked at her. "Good. Now get dressed so we can go!"

"Go where?" Freddie asked and forced a small smile.

"For breakfast silly! You can't start a day on an empty stomach. I know a great place down by the school, they have the best pancakes ever."

"Breakfast? Really?" Freddie asked raising an eyebrow. Why would Cat want to take him out to breakfast? He had fun yesterday but he didn't think they were actually friends or anything.

"What? You wanted me to show you around." She said and then her face became serious and her smile disappeared. "You do want me to show you around don't you?"

She looked genuinely hurt and Freddie sighed. "Of course I do." He half lied, he really didn't know what he wanted to do. A part of him wanted to slam the door in Cat's face and tell her to leave so he wouldn't have to sit through a breakfast tiptoeing around his every action, but the rest of him just couldn't do it to her. "I'll go get changed." He said and then went to his room, leaving Cat sitting alone.

* * *

The restaurant Cat took him to was a small type of diner/coffee-house type of thing. It had booths and computers and was like the perfect mix of modern and old. They both ordered pancakes, though Freddie did so at Cat's forceful 'suggestion', and the waiter had just brought them their food. On each of their plates were a perfect stack of pancakes and even Freddie had to admit they looked pretty damn good.

"Sooo why did you move to Hollywood anyway?" Cat asked after the waiter left their table.

Just like that Freddie's stomach clenched and he lost whatever small appetite he'd been able to muster up at the sight of the delicious looking pancakes. "My mother died." He said quietly and took a sip of his coffee, his mouth felt unbelievably dry.

"Oh." She said, her brown eyes were wide and understanding. Then sadness appeared in them and she said, "My father died when I was little, my mother left. I live with my uncle."

"I'm sorry." He said and she shrugged.

"It's okay. It happened a long time ago, it doesn't hurt so much anymore and my uncle is really nice." Cat replied and her brown eyes seemed deep and soulful in that moment.

Right then she didn't seem like the fragile bubbly redhead who had introduced herself to him at school, she seemed like someone who understood. For the first time since he got here Freddie felt like someone understood his pain, knew what it was like, and could understand what he was going through. He felt like there was more to Cat then he first thought and he found his stomach was unclenching slowly.

"That's good." Freddie said and coughed awkwardly, he really didn't know what else to say. He was glad someone understood what it was like, and that he wasn't completely alone, but it didn't make things easier to talk about. It just made Freddie think, it made him wonder. Would he be as okay with his mother's death as Cat was with her father's over time? Would it get easier for him to think about the life he used to have with his mother? To think about her? A part of him really hoped it would, but the rest of him remained doubtful. The rest of him didn't know if he could ever truly be happy again.

As if Cat could guess what he was thinking her face softened and she said, "It will get easier, I promise."

"Really?" Freddie asked and began to eat his untouched pancakes.

"Yes, really. I promised didn't I, silly?" She smiled and then laughed before starting on her pancakes. As Freddie's eyes met hers from across the table he could see that she was telling the truth and for the first time in a long time he felt a small sliver of hope.

* * *

Carly Shea sighed and slouched back from her computer.

"What's up?" Sam asked leaning over to speak to her.

"I miss Freddie." Carly said with a groan. She really did. Freddie had been one of her best friends in the whole wide world and she missed him a lot.

"Don't you miss him Sam?" She asked and sat up so she could look her best friend in the eyes. "I mean, you and Freddie were in a relationship before any of this happened. Aren't you sad?"

Sam sighed and shook her head. "Not really, I knew Benson and I wouldn't last long anyway. I'm just sorry his nutso of a Mom had to die."

Carly glared. "You don't mean that."

"Yeah I kinda do. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm hungry." With that Sam got up to get herself a bowl of chicken fried rice from Carly's kitchen.

Carly sighed and closed her eyes. She knew Sam didn't mean what she'd said about Freddie and Carly knew that her best friend missed him terribly. Carly also knew Sam would never admit it. Sam was a Puckett and if there was one thing Puckett's never do, it's admit that they're hurting. Or talk about they're feelings in general, Carly added as an afterthought. She opened her eyes again and retried Freddie's Slap page. She'd been messaging him non-stop since he'd moved to LA but he hadn't responded to any of her messages. She regretted what happened, the argument they'd had before he left, and she wanted to make things right. She just hadn't expected him to make it this difficult.

_'Freddie,' _She typed and then backspaced the word. What was she going to say? What could she say? Anything she said now would just seem dumb and inadequate. It wouldn't make much of anything better, she didn't even know if it would help him much, but she had to try. After all, they were best friends once, they still are by Carly's accounts, and she can't let him go through his without at least letting him know that she loves him and she's here if he needs her.

_'Freddie' _She typed again, _'I'm sorry about our fight, you have to believe that. I didn't mean what I said and I'm sorry if I hurt you. I really am sorry Freddie, I wish none of this ever had to happen. I wish your mother never had to die, that you never had to go through this pain, but I also know that saying so won't help you much. I never meant to hurt you and I wish we'd never argued. After all, you were right it's just a web show. We shouldn't have tried to get you to do it, we know that now. You're more important than a web show Freddie, you really are, and I should've realised that before. You're my best friend in the world, apart from Sam that is, and I want you to come home or at least respond to one of these messages. Sam misses you too even though she'll never admit it, but she's hurt. I know she's tried to contact you, all I ask is that you respond just to let us know you're okay. _

_How are things with your Dad? Is he treating you right? If he's not please tell me and I'll do whatever I can to help, I don't think I could handle it if anyone else hurt you anymore. I really couldn't. Have you made new friends? I really hope you have, you don't deserve to be alone after everything that's happened.'_

Carly sighed and wrung her hands in frustration. Why was it so hard to reach out to someone you cared about?

_'Just come home,'_ She finally decided to type, _'Or at least respond. We miss you Freddie and we love you, don't forget that._

_- Carly.'_


	4. Cookies

Freddie felt absolutely wrecked by the time he got home. Ever since he'd left Seattle he'd just had no energy to do anything other than get mad, and even that was exhausting. Freddie wished things were different. As he laid on his bed, in his father's apartment, he'd never wanted to be around his mother more. Sure she was a complete nut job sometimes, sure she was a little over protective, but that was only because she loved Freddie and she was afraid of losing him. Now that Freddie had lost her it didn't seem like such as silly fear to him as it used to. He would give anything not to have to feel that soul crushing pain that was in his heart. He wished he could be numb to this pain, that he couldn't feel at all, but there was no turning this off. He felt short of breath and like he was on the verge of breaking into a million tiny pieces. When he thought about his mother was the only time when Freddie truly felt anything anymore, but all he felt when he thought about her was pain and he really didn't think that was any better.

He could hear his father downstairs, typing away on his computer, and Freddie wondered if his father felt anything for his mother. Was he sad she was dead? Did he even care? Or was he just glad that he didn't have to pay her child support anymore? Was he just happy that he didn't have to be reminded of the mistake he made when he was younger? Of course Freddie's father would never truly be able to forget, at least not until Freddie was out of the picture too, but it would make things easier for him right? Freddie covered his ears and tried to breathe. He was beginning to get angry again and Freddie knew deep down that his mother wouldn't want him to be thinking this way, or feeling these things. But the rage that was pooling inside of him was hard to ignore. It got so bad that Freddie had his fists balled up, knuckles white, and he felt like he was going to explode. Why did his mother have to die? Why didn't Freddie protect her, stop her from being killed. Freddie took another deep breath and stood up.

He couldn't keep thinking about this, it was killing him and he needed to leave. He had no idea where he was going to go, especially since he still had no idea where anything was, but he just needed to get out of this apartment. He felt like the earth was shaking and the walls were closing in on him and if he didn't get out now he'd be trapped here with this terrible anger forever.

* * *

He didn't know how but somehow Freddie found himself on a bridge. It was long with metal arches and spacious lanes but Freddie had absolutely no idea what it was called. He didn't really care either. All he cared about was the fact that it was spacious and quiet. All he cared about was the wind in his face and the world around him staying still, about finally being able to breathe. Freddie arched his head and looked at the stars. Was his mother up there now? If she was, what would she think of him? He wasn't sure, but it was a nice thought. To think that she was living up there with the stars watching over him like she always used to, at least until the sun rose and the stars were blinded out by the daylight. But he knew that even when the sun rose in L.A, she'd still be living with the stars somewhere and the thought gave him a surprising sense of comfort. After all, if there was one person he knew who deserved to live with the stars it was his mother. After everything she'd done for him, after all she'd fought for, she deserved at least that. Freddie took another deep breath. He didn't know why, but it was easier to think about her up here. It was easier to miss her in the open where it didn't feel like the world was going to come caving in on Freddie.

"Hey!" Someone called, breaking Freddie out of his strangely serene state, and Freddie turned to see Cat standing behind him.

"Hi." Freddie said in surprise, "What are you doing out here?"

She shrugged, "Your father called me. He said he got my number off of your phone because he was worried about you and wanted to see where you were."

Where he was? Freddie wondered, since when had his father ever given a damn as to where Freddie was? After all, the man spent most of Freddie's early life trying to convince him that Freddie and his mother had been the worst damn things to ever happen to him.

"Why? What time is it?" Freddie chose to ask, instead of commenting the mini rant that was taking place inside of his head.

"It's almost four in the morning. He said you left at nine in a rush and he hasn't seen you since." She held up her phone, "You should call him, let him know you're okay."

Freddie shook his head. "I'm not calling him."

Cat sighed. "Fine." She said and then pressed a button on her phone. She waited a few seconds before speaking into the receiver, "Hello? Mr Benson?"

"It's Young, not Benson." Freddie said dully. 'Young' was his father's last name, and it would've been Freddie's too, but when he left Freddie and his mother Freddie's mother had decided to change both of their names back to her maiden name of Benson. She'd always said that the least affiliation they'd have with him, the better. Wasn't it funny how things turned out now? With Freddie having no choice but to live with the man he'd spent most of his life hating and trying to rid himself of.

"Oh sorry, Mr Young?" She asked in that chirpy singsong voice of hers, "I've found Freddie, he's safe." She paused, "Well no, I don't know when he'll be home." She paused again, "Okay, I'll let him know. But until then I'll keep him safe okay?" She paused again and nodded a little, "Kay kay, you have a good night Mr Young."

She hung up the phone and looked back at Freddie with a smile. "Your father says he'd appreciate it if you would come home as soon as possible."

Freddie couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think that's going to happen."

"I didn't think so." Cat replied, surprising Freddie again. She didn't seem so ditzy after all. "We can stay out here if you want, but my house isn't that far away and we can go back there if you want? My uncle has gone away for business and he wont be back for a couple of days."

Freddie looked around. He didn't really want to leave this place, the place where he was just starting to make sense of the mess inside of his head, but on the other hand he really didn't want to disappoint Cat. Something about hurting her or letting her down just felt particularly wrong to Freddie. With Cat there was no rush of power he got when he was mean or rude to other people, there was just this strange feeling of shame and an ache in his chest that Freddie couldn't really explain.

"I've got cookies." Cat said as if that made all the difference in the world, "They're choc chip and lavender. It's a strange combination I know, but they were my mother's favourite. She used to get my grandmother to make them all the time before my granny died. I've only just made them tonight so they're still fresh."

"Wait," Freddie said with a slight smirk, "You spent all night _baking cookies_?"

She shrugged, "I was bored and couldn't think up another way to pass the time. Do you wanna come or not?" She asked, "It's getting cold out here."

Freddie looked around again. Only now did he notice the fog in the air whenever they spoke and the chill that surrounded them. "Oh, here." Freddie said before he shrugged his leather jacket off of his shoulders and held it out to Cat.

She blushed slightly as she took it and murmured a quiet, "Thanks."

Freddie just nodded and let himself be led back to her house.

* * *

Cat's house was small and quaint and was definitely not like his father's apartment. In fact, Freddie had never actually set foot in a place so old fashioned and homey. Even Freddie's small apartment back in Seattle had more modern furnishings than this place. "This place used to be my grandmother's." Cat said as if she knew what he was thinking and was trying to explain, "My uncle moved back here to take care of her in the months before she died and she made him promise to keep this place and take care of it, so he did. He's always wanted a house out in the country away from the busy LA city, but he's living here and trying to keep Grams happy instead. Besides, I'm here and I don't think he's got the heart to rip me out of school and make me move to the middle of nowhere."

Freddie didn't say anything. Cat was being so open and honest with him about everything, he felt bad for not being able to be the same. She smiled at him. "You want some cookies?" She asked and Freddie just nodded. She laughed slightly before she bounded off into the kitchen. Wasn't she tired at four o'clock in the morning?

"Why did you come looking for me?" Freddie asked as he sat at her breakfast bar. She smiled at him while she got his cookies from the cupboard.

"Why wouldn't I?" She asked.

"Because we're not really friends. I mean, I've only known you for a few days. That doesn't warrant all night searching does it?"

"We're not friends?" Cat asked like he'd told her there was no Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy wasn't real.

"No." Freddie said and sighed, "I mean we are friends but we've only been friends for a little while. Most people wouldn't have bothered to come looking for me, especially not at four in the morning."

"Who said I was looking for you at four in the morning?" Cat asked with a smile as she placed Freddie's plate in front of him and then loaded up one of her own. "I found you at four in the morning, I started looking for you at eleven at night. I just didn't think you'd be so far out my way, I thought you'd be closer to your apartment."

"Wait, so you were looking for me for _five hours_?" Freddie asked in slight disbelief. How could this girl, who he's only really just met, search for him for five hours on a cold dark night?

"Your father asked me if I knew where you were or where you could be found. I didn't but I said I'd help find you." She shrugged and looked down at her cookies, "You didn't want me to find you?"

"No." Freddie replied, "I just wasn't expecting it."

She shrugged again. "I guess I know what it's like to lose someone you love and to not know how to cope with it. I just thought you might like some help, or some company at least." She paused and looked up at Freddie, her eyes dark and soulful. "You're not alone, okay? I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks." Freddie said even though he didn't know what to say. A part of him was so thankful that Cat was here with him right now, even if he wasn't sure why, but the rest of him felt like shouting at her that he wasn't a charity case and he didn't need her help.

"It's fine." She replied, "Now hurry up and eat your cookies. It's almost four thirty and I actually want to get some sleep before we have to be up at seven."

"Why don't we just skip school today?" Freddie asked and began to eat his cookies. It was an odd combination, but Freddie loved it. Somehow everything in the cookie just seemed to work and Freddie had to admit it was probably one of the best cookies he'd ever had.

"I can't." Cat said and shook her head, "Besides, my uncle would kill me if he found out I skipped school when he wasn't here. I'd be under house arrest for sure."

"Seriously?" Freddie asked in disbelief.

Cat nodded. "He promised to take care of me and that means making me go to school and punishing me when I don't. You know, like a real parent would."

"Oh well I guess we'd better eat faster then." Freddie said with a smile as they both began to pile lavender choc chip cookies into their mouths.

* * *

When they were finished and everything was cleaned up, Cat made Freddie a bed on the couch. He'd thanked her for finding him, feeding him and for not making him go home. She'd just smiled at him, told him he was very welcome and left him to sleep. As Freddie lay back on the couch, in his makeshift bed, he strangely felt more at home in this strange city than he had since he'd left Seattle. He smiled faintly as he closed his eyes that night and for the first time in a long time he thought about absolutely nothing as he fell into a very peaceful sleep.


End file.
